that don't warrant a page by themselves
or seem to fit better here
pending poems index
chronological order is from the bottom to the top of the page
audio files can be complemented by listening to them with the eyes closed
!
for
a
while
maybe
did
some
good
and
then
died
the
empty
universe
made
no
answer
i strived
for
a
while
maybe
did
some
good
and
then
died
the
universe
made
no
answer
i strived
for
a
while
maybe
did
some
good
and
then
died
the
universe
made
no
answer
what's
depressing
me
is
all
the
writing
and
processing
i
am
doing !
if
you
are
reading
this
in
1000
years
lot
or
at
least
some
of
what
is
said
will
be
lost
to
you
through
changed
use
of
english/language
and
a
very
different
culture
way of living
and
environment !
not
to
mention
all
the
spaced
out
voynich
translations
out
there !
you
are
reading
this
in
1000
years
lot
or
at
least
some
of
what
is
said
will
be
lost
to
you
through
changed
use
of
english/language
and
a
very
different
culture
way of living
and
environment !
not
to
mention
all
the
spaced
out
voynich
translations
out
there !
G
.
G
.
G
.
R
.
R
.
R
.
R
.
R
.
R
.
R
.
R
.
R
meister
interesting
name !
a beneficent teutonic deity who warned people when the wild hunt was about to ride out. the faithful eckhart was said to sit at the base of the mountain warning travellers to return whence they came; he also rode ahead of the wild hunt warning people to seek shelter from the coming storm.
schizophrenic
fantasies
to
intoduce
some
benignness
into
a
raw
and
brutal
world
misguided !
schizophrenic
fantasies
trying
to
intoduce
some
benignness
into
a
raw
and
brutal
world
how
misguided !
theologia germanica (meister eckhart or a disciple ?)
always the fundamental problem unfortunately you have to survive and that means serving “ outward things ” ,
the trick is to do it so that the left eye permits or enables the right which is hard !
clods
understand ?
no
they
can't
E
V
E
R
.
.
.
.
.
!
teacher
student
relationships
seen
truely
are
usually
a
disaster !
am
i
i
don't
know
where
are
you
i
don't
know
where
am
i
going
i
don't
know
where
are
you
going
i
don't
know
where
are
we
going
i
don't
know ! ?
am
i
i
don't
know
where
are
you
i
don't
know
where
are
we
going
i
don't
know
where
am
i
i
don't
know
where
are
you
i
don't
know
where
am
i
i
don't
know
where
are
you
i
don't
know
where
are
you
going
i
don't
know
where
are
we
going
i
don't
know !
where
am
i
i
don't
know
where
are
you
i
don't
know
where
are
you
going
i
don't
know
where
are
we
going
i
don't
know ?
where
am
i
i
don't
know
where
are
you
i
don't
know
where
are
you
going
i
don't
know
where
are
we
going
i
don't
know
where
am
i
i don't
know
where
are
you
i
don't
know
where
are
you
going
where
am
i
going
where
are
we
going
i
don't
know
a
sound
that
has
no
meaning !
it's
it's
just
all
clinging
attachment !
it's
it's
just
all
clinging
attachment !
don't
want
sense
it's
all
just
clinging
attachment !
it
makes
sense
from
an
evolutionary
point
of
view
but
it's
very
frustrating !
people
don't
want
sense
it's
all
clinging
attachment !
it
makes
sense
from
an
evolutionary
point
of
view
but
it's
very
frustrating !
time
and
space
there
is
nothing
just
the
loneliness
of
being
yourself
Interestingly the incas had an “earthquake code”, mortarless shaped blocks that time has shown and still shows to stand up very well to big shakes
those stones took a lot of slave labour i think
but they are designed to fit so closely to be earthquake resistant
with a shake they all sort of wobble abit, very advanced engineering
the inca capital was higher than machu picchu so the emperor and nobles may have come down to machu picchu in winter as abit warmer
the capital (cusco) and machu picchu are the same latitude as darwin, but very high in the mountains, 11000 and 8000 feet respectively, and on the margins of the amazon watershed side of the andes hence the greenness !
peru is high tho
all the blocks are carefully shaped and fit like 3d jigsaw pieces, they only did it cause they had to
pikchu
extravagant
of
human
labour !
pikchu
extravagant
of
human
labour
am
i
writing
this
for
i
don't
know
will
they
care
i
don't
know
all
this
time
consuming
and
detail
work
for
what ?
it's
been
really
hard
for
me
to
understand
what
i
am
doing
with
these
homilies
but
i
realise
that
i
am
talking
across
the
centuries
to
people
i
will
never
meet !
sociable
to
a
fault
sad
really
but
that's
the
way
it
just
go
in
and
out
of
this
cycle
endlessly
man
shall
not
live
pasturized
fruit
alone
shall
not
live
fruit
alone
polyhedra
you
can
think
forever
about
that
sort
of
thing !
just
scared
scared
certainty
about
what ?
well
i'm
uncertain
about
being
certain
chauvet
cave
paintings
so
deep
in
the
beautiful
cave
to
last
forever
perhaps they
were
an
intended
memorial
to
the
declining
populations
of
large
mammals
hunted
by
humans ?
is
so
what
is
literally
so
two
different
things
what
is
so
what
is
literally
so
two
different
things
fred
i
can't
and
don't
want
to
stop
you
being
a
twit !
there
you
are
for
millenia
in
a
very
unflattering
way !
in
three
hundred
years
some
nutcase
will
even
try
and
research
who
you
are !
are
you
like
a
awoman,
any
attention
no
matter
how
negative
is
wanted/welcomed ?
dominicans
make
the
same
mistake
a
s
everyone
else
they
set
meister
eckhart
up
a
s
the
fount
of
all
knowledge
and
go
from
there
whereas
he
is
flawed
and
MAKES
MISTAKES
not
to
mention
the
voynich
problems
of
the
distance
of
his
culture
and
meaning !
do
think
that
by
about
certainly
by
world
has
plagued
with
influenza
and
common
cold
viruses !
retarded
children
grow
up
to
be
mentally
retarded
adults !
myself
and
you
mentally
retarded
children
grow
up
to
be
mentally
retarded
adults !
mentally
retarded
children
grow
up
to
be
mentally
retarded
adults !
it's
all
left
for
the
next
generation
i
leave
nothing
for
the
next
generation
all
given
for
the
next
generation
i
give
nothing
for
the
next
generation
can
untangle
almost
anything
except
where
the
process
of
untangling
makes
more
tangle !
can
put
too
much
energy
into
untangling
things
that
can't
be
untangled
almost
anything
can
be
untangled
except where
the
process
of
untangling
makes
more
tangle !
you
can
put
too
much
energy
into
untangling
things
that
can't
be
untangled
does
it
matter
if
infinity
profuses
if
it
doesn't
profuse
with
me
“profuses” is french, the feminine plural of profuse !)
know that the line between what's imaginary and what's true is very blurred because in part what's true doesn't stand too close an analysis in terms of it not being imaginary !
know that the line between what's imaginary and what's true is very blurred because in part what's true doesn't stand too close an analysis in terms of it not being imaginary !
this
was
rubbish
it
would
be
more
popular
dynasties
the
children
never have
the
abilities
of
the
father
that's
why
the
inbred !
dynasties
the
children
never have
the
abilities
of
the
parents
that's
why
the
inbred !
i really am tending
to
the
view
we
are
all
separate
universes
we
are
all
that
exists
there's
just
ourselves
and
nothing
else
we
synthesize
illusions
that
we
share
a
common
universe
it
explains
why
we
are
so
separate
and
behave
in
irrational
ways
some
seeking
to
operate
in
and
foster
that
illusion !
the strangeness
of
alien
worlds
ie
yourself
versus
everybody
else !
the strangeness
of
alien
worlds
ie
yourself
versus
everyone
else !
there's
a
price
to
bullshitting
you
know !
there's
a
price
to
bullshitting
you
know !
if
you
are
going
to
have
an
enemy
it's
better
he's
an
incompetent
one
competent
enemies
are
a
BASTARD !
if
you
are
going
to
have
an
enemy
it's
better
it's
an
incompetent
one
competent
enemies
are
a
BASTARD !
it's so
annoying
to
lose
a
really
good
homily
on
waking
up
and
not
having
the
voice
recorder
by
the
bed
or
getting
up
and
recording
it
instead
but
i
went
back
to
sleep
i
am
pissed
off
at
myself !
can't
recover
it
all
you
can
do
is
keep
going
forward !
homilies
at
55
it's
a
bit
late
in
life
to
be
developing
a
skill
scratch
that
one
ah
because
i
have
been
developing
homilies
through
most
of
my
life
or
at
least
the
skill
to
judge
homilies
at
55
it's
a
bit
late
in
life
to
be
developing
a
skill
scratch
that
one
ah
because
i
have
been
developing
homilies
through
most
of
my
life
or
at
least
the
skill
to
judge
may
have
lost
about
four
or
five
homilies
recently
a
good
homily
is
hard
to
come
by!
may
have
lost
about
four
or
five
homilies
recently
a
good
homily
is
hard
to
come
by
they
drink
the
dream
of
quietude
a
neural
anesthetic
poisons
their
lips
they
drink
the
dream
of
quietude
a
neural
anesthetic
poisons
their
lips !
zazen
they
drink
the
dream
of
quietude
a
neural
anesthetic
poisons
their
lips
a
person
doesn't
have
a
perception
about
remedying
their
situtation
you
can't
give
it
or
force
it
on
them
if
a
person
doesn't
have
a
perception
about
remedying
their
situtation
you
can't
give
it
to
them
or
force
it
on
them
my worse
nightmare
i've
become
a
homily
machine
the
angst
when
we
are
confronted
with
the
insufficiency
of
what
we
do !
anything
except
bullshit
makes
you
spew !
my
position
is
you
have
no
respect
for
yourself
if
you're
going
to
just
promulgate
bullshit !
my
position
is
you
have
no
respect
for
yourself
if
you're
going
to
just
push
bullshit !
an
unceasing
burden
that
crushes
you !
buddhism
and
zen
do
the
same
thing
as
chrisitianity
state
some
inviolable
texts
that
have
to
be
the
case
if
you
view
the
texts
a
s
flawed
it
gives
quite
a
different
perspective !
buddhism
does
the
same
thing
as
chrisitianity
state
some
inviolable
texts
that
have
to
be
the
case
if
you
view
the
texts
a
s
flawed
it
gives
quite
a
different
perspective !
basically he says that if you're on the right track, something that seems a total waste of time like me posting on the hardcore zen blog, things shift and since there is some base guiding by infinity, you have worked through something to get to a better spot so in reality it wasn't a waste of time, but really a learning experience you have to go through to get to a new level of understanding so to speak !
in the case of the hardcorezen blog that's seeing the utter rigidity of adults, the engraving of futilestupidity by zazen, how root situations cannot changed and religion is utterly and penally INSANE !
re that video, don't look at the pictures while listening to the sermon, tho they are interesting to go through and look at separately, they disrupt the sense of the sermon if looked at the same time, the speaking part has no music, but i quite liked the symphony no. 8, op. 124 by malcom arnold !
rejection
of
complexity
there
is
no
answer
in
terms
of
complexity
things
are
necessarily
messy
an
unceasing
burden
that
crushes
you
the
rejection
of
complexity
there
is
no
answer
in
terms
of
complexity
things
are
necessarily
messily
an
unceasing
burden
that
crushes
you
the
rejection
of
complexity
there
is
no
answer
in
terms
of
complexity
things
are
necessarily
messily
it's
the
whole
trouble
with
zen
they
get
some
little
insight
engrave
it
in
zazen
and become concrete
statues
absolutely
stuffed !
but
is
it
true?
more
than
what
you
believe
it
has
to
be
true !
when
you
die
there
only
god
that
is
human
ceases
when
you
die
there
only
god
that
is
human
ceases !
explain
it
to !
had
a
vision
the
hardcore
zen
bloggers
drowning
faces
mouths open wide
in
a
turbulent
brown
muddy
stream
being
swept
away
o
o
o
o
.
.
.
.
had
a
vision
the
hardcore
zen
bloggers
drowning
faces
mouths open wide
in
a
turbulent
muddy
stream
being
swept
away
o
o
o
o
.
.
.
.
i
look
at
meditators
i
see
insanity
catherine
of
sienna
cradling
the
head
of
the
just
beheaded
man
she
had
comforted in
his
last days
could
have
said
warner
i
don't
wish
him
well
but
even
if
i
did
it
would
do
no
good
completely
stuck !
the
net
you
can
do
some
hard
yards
you
don't
have
to
do
in
real
life
the
use
of
the
word
me
ill
now!
the
moment
i
hear
anyone
is
doing
zazen
or
any
sort
of
meditation
i
know
they
are
deranged !
is
empty
and
meaningless
you
are
going
to
live
it
as
meaningful
and
full
you
are
not
going
to
see
it
are
you ?
they
are
just
blind
man
death
is
creeping
up
they
don't
notice
it's
just
the
way
it
is
if a man calls a woman exotic what does that mean?
not native?
andrew replies :
he wants to sleep with her as them both being above the rules
eileen replies :
?
above the rules?
andrew replies:
being faithful
andrew says:
it's just abit of phoney glamourization masking the usual drives
exotic: strikingly unusual, of a different country, in that way
pleasurably different
it has sexual connotations cause there are “exotic clubs” ie striptease or gentlemans
hardcore
zen
blog
pig
ignorant
trying
to
make
sense
out
nonsense
blotted
out
on
zazen
yup,
that's
their
style
it's
the
worst
feature
of
zen
glorification
of
pig
ignorance !
btw regarding mary's “female becoming male” if you look at outstanding women in history they have strong male streaks !
if
you
just
start
doing
it
it
will
get
done
sitting
at
the
end
of
time
blathering
does
it
bother
you
nup !
y'all
sitting
at
the
end
of
time
blathering
does
it
bother
you
some-one
you
love
turns
against
you
in
a
most
hurtful
way
it
teaches
you !
your sojourn
with
george
philosophically
and
from
a
homily
point
of
view
it
gave
me
an
insight
i
would
never
have
arrived
at
otherwise
personally
i
think
i
would
rather
that
it
have
never
happened !
have
a
loyalty
to
sex
and
reproduction
per
se
that
men
find
hard
to
understand !
no
teacher
no
being
whole
thing's
stupid !
can
you
break
through
the
whole
fiction ?
that
nishijima
is
anything
other
than
a
lunatic ?
n
o
o
o
o
.
!
can
you
break
through
the
whole
fiction ?
that
nishijima
is
anything
other
than
a
lunatic ?
n
o
o
o
o
.
males
are
their
prey
you can read it at least two ways, males being the prey of women and gender blurred “women males” which is either male blurred females or female blurred males being the prey of an unspecified “their”
males
are
their
prey
post-
modern
is
an
attitude
about
meta-
attitudes
that
is
largely
fictitious !
doonesbury
is
a
big
fake !
the
catholic
church
is
committing
suicide !
you
can't
really
help
people
who
won't
help
themselves
ah
and
they
can't
really
hear
you
and
often
you
are
asking
for
a
reallocation
of
priorities
which
i
guess
is
a
fundamental
thing
people
will
disagree !
mother
teresa
a
post
modern
saint !
think
she's
more
than
that !
if
i
think
mother
teresa
was
a
crazy
loon
i
have to
think
i
am
also
a
crazy
loon
and
to
be
fair
to
her
she
was
in
the
wrong
vocation
and
never
really
enjoyed
it
at
all !
following
an
imitation
she
could
never
be
herself and
that
was
joyless !
we
all
have
our
opinions
i
am
right
but
there's always
elements
of
right
and
wrong
and
that's
where
the
energy
you
don't
go
to
the
root
condition
you
always
run
into
trouble
what
is
upsetting
about
a
vision
is
they
are
more
real
than
what
we
call
reality !
the
hardcore
zen
blog
mother
teresa
and
basho
told
me
not
to
post
anymore
nishijima
second
rate
intellect
well it can be physically crippling
but
necessarily
mentally
crippling !
i
think
your
problem
is
you
are
so
used
to
bullshitting
as
part
of
the
normal
mode
of
life
that
you
can't
get
clear
when
you
need
to !
when
i
looked
at
the
night
sky
i
thought
of
basho
and
how
right
he
is
and
how
wrong
the
meditators
are !
when
i
looked
at
the
night
sky
i
thought
of
basho
and
how
right
he
was
and
how
wrong
the
meditators
are !
even
mother
teresa
bullshitted !
what
do
i
mean
even ?
she
was
full
of
bullshit
from
a
very
young
age
well
at
least
from
her
talking
bullshit
doesn't
worry
you
i
was
never
like
that
of
you
guys
have
any
respect
for
yourselves
as
people
you
are
to
speak
bullshit !
sanity
of
insanity
janet
frame
she
got
infatuated
with
a
psychiatrist
while
she
was
at
university
it
was
a
disaster
for
her
he
put
her
in
the
psychiatric
system !
writing
will
never
be
popular
too
philosophical
basically
it
unseats
people's
preconceptions
about
life
you
are
happy
you
are
not
seeing
life
truely
if
you
are
unhappy
you
are
seeing
life
truely
“ where is my faith? even deep down ... there is nothing but emptiness and darkness ... if there be god—please forgive me. when i try to raise my thoughts to heaven, there is such convicting emptiness that those very thoughts return like sharp knives and hurt my very soul ... ”
you
are
happy
you
are
not
seeing
life
truely
if
you
are
unhappy
you
are
seeing
life
truely
of
the
madness
of
humanity !
of
the
madness
of
humanity
i don't think zazen is crazy, it really is crazy and makes for crazies !
mad as hatters !
you can't move the root and the root was nishijima and his error
so it just can't change can it?
does
the
average
nun
have
behind
her ?
a
lifetime
of
masturbation ?
absolute bloody crap !
if you are in communication with infinity why do you regurgitate clichés ?????????????
fred, you can post blather on a blog or messageboard forever who cares except you and what's the point?
you really don't care about your life do you?
why bullshit the way you do, what a total waste of time?
i keep telling you, you are stuck in a “ghost cave” for all your talk about the erosion of ego you don't have the basic insight or humility to even concede you are just plain way off base
try half a desertspoon of a quality fish oil daily ,
you need something to get your brain working ! good for the joints to !
i must be a real idiot to care more about you than you do !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
you
are
always
to
be
right
never
be
wrong !
